Friday, January 8, 2010

Project Me

Homework. It's been a long time since people expected me to do homework. That is until last week. These sisters of mine are tough. This weeks assignment is to look back at our year. What worked and what didn't in our weight loss/fitness journey. That is a huge thing to think about. So many things to sort through. This could take pages and pages, if you wanted to really do the assignment justice. I'm going to try to keep it managable, but still make it real with no lying or fudging on facts.
Let's start with body image, where mine comes from. Not to pass the buck, but a lot of mine comes from my sister. She is thin, always has been. She doesn't have to work at it at all. The problem is that she constantly talks about peoples bodies. She has been doing this for as long as I can remember. A long time. She comments all the time about if people are fat, skinny, whatever. I don't think she even knows she does it. I don't think she does it to be cruel. I hope she doesn't do it intentionally to make me feel like crap because if she is, it's always had the negative effect. I've always said, "she can't tell me what to do, people like me just like I am". Maybe other people did, but the bottom line is that I didn't like me. It took me a long time to realize that, but I finally did.
I finally had the aha moment when I looked in the mirror and said "this is crazy, I look like crap, I feel like crap, but what do I do and how do I start?". The hard part started. It took me a long time and a lot of starts and stops before I really thought I could do this. I think you all know what I am going to say next. The Sisterhood was my saving grace. I don't pretend that I have it all together yet. I'm a true work in progress, but I know I can do this. You helped me realize that and I can never thank you enough. In June when I received the first Sister Spotlight award, I knew that I was going to do this because I would never want to disappoint my sisters when they put that faith in me. It was another aha moment, so to speak.
What I did that worked for me in 2009.....
1. I packed my lunch for work. No more eating out and eating crap. The wonderful thing about that is that now if I eat fast food, it literally makes me sick. My stomache can't take it anymore. I think that is great!
2. I planned the time of day that I would work out. If I didn't, I always had excuses of why I couldn't fit it in. I always do it first thing in the morning. I'm fresh and ready to go. I have also started doing the treadmill at night while I watch something on tv.
3. I've learned that water is my friend.
4. I believe in my myself that I can do this. If I fall off the wagon (like last week), I know that I can get right back on. Before I would throw my arms up and just give up completely. Not now!
5. I gave myself the power to choose if I want to mess up. If we go out for dinner and I want to have a cocktail or two, I'll do it. I just know that I have to make that up somewhere the next day.
6. I've only been doing it a short time, but planning my meals a week in advance has been a lifesaver. Why didn't I think of that sooner?
What I did that didn't work in 2009.....
1. Sitting on my butt when I could have been working out. I did that lots of days.
2. Letting other people lead me astray.
3. Saying "just one won't hurt" because it will.
4. Believing there were things I couldn't do.
5. Getting mad at myself and falling into old patterns.
I am excited about 2010. I have grandkids to chase with a new one due in April. I want to be the fun grandma who can run and play on the swings and in the pool. I won't be the fat, winded old lady. Not now, not ever. I'm taking the time for me. It's a new concept for me because I have always been the person who does for everyone else first. I always put myself last. I'm still the same person who will always do for others, but I can also do something for me and not feel guilty about it.
If we do this homework in January of 2011, I'll be very excited. It will be a great post complete with pictures. Just you wait and see!


  1. I'm the same way, everyone else comes first. I found that when I make a choice to put my health first, I have more to give. I hope that you find that balance! Good luck!!

  2. meal planning and lunch packing is good for the wallet as well as the waist line :)

    i hope your sister didn't mean anything by it - speaking from experience skinny people don't realize how hurtful some of the things that say can be.

  3. I love the meal planning idea and packing your lunch is an excellent way to stay away from the horrors of fast, convenient restaurants. I am so proud of you Nancy. You have come so far! Your grandkids are LUCKY to have a grandma who cares about herself.

  4. Planning your workouts and meals is so important! I'm just really beginning to do that myself. Finally! Great post, Nancy!

  5. i love that, nancy!!! amazing amazing post! and we will have to do that, we will have to post in 2011 about this very thing. i love all of your "answers" to yourself, all of those things have helped me too. congratulations on everything you've done, you are amazing!!

  6. You will be a very cool fun grandma. I love your post, so honest.

  7. Sounds like 2010 is off to a good start. Great job!!! :)

  8. I love your commitment to the New You! You are so worth it! You have made such positive steps and it is rubbing off on me. It does help to plan ahead. We have so much in common cause my sister was always the thin one growing up and I wanted to be like her so bad. I lived my life thru her in so many ways. You are a beautiful person inside and out and will be running and playing for a long time with your grandkids! I'm so proud of your dedication to YOU!

  9. I'm in the same boat as you. I have always been thin, but for many years I was a very unhealthy thin. You have come so far with the Sisterhood, as I have. I feel strong and healthy. I will continue on this journey of healthfulness. Keep on keepin' on!

  10. Great comments in your post. Hang in there, you can do it as far as your diet and exercise are concerned. I too need to make a better plan for weekly meals. Love & blessings from NC!

  11. Yeah, eating out is definetly EVIL to your waistline. Unfortunately so is non-movement and most everything "fast". (as in fast foods I mean)

    I like that taking it day by day helps. That's what I like about WW. Every week is a new one. If i do bad one week, I start over after I weigh in.

  12. It sounds like you have a great attitude and are ready to make 2010 your year! So glad you are a part of the Sisterhood!

  13. Terrific post!!! We are so glad that you found us, Nancy! You're going to rock this year, I just know it!

  14. As I read each word of your homework, I could see myself more and more and more. I don't have a sister, but I am in-between 2 brothers who had a comment or two about my appearance growing up! I gained weight at around age 12... the worst time, I think. I had stopped playing sports and spent more time on the phone, etc. My Mom has always been active and physically fit and I wanted to be like her but I didn't have the discipline at the time. It wasn't until college that I took an interest in nutrition and exercise... and studying to be a teacher, I happened upon research on women and body image. I knew this would help in my teaching at a high school. It basically changed MY life because I began to figure out that I could eat A LOT as long as it was THE RIGHT STUFF. My body began to change and I liked it. Enter Barry!! Now, his Mom was a different story!! Flo LOVED food and all kinds of food and food that I had kind of sworn off... and that was a problem at the beginning of our relationship. I would tell her what I wanted to eat and she made everything with butter and lard and salt and wow!!!! I never wanted to hurt her feelings because food was her great gift, so I began to eat little portions of this and that... at her home or holidays... and that worked out!! Barry also has Crohn's Disease, so our home cooking HAS to be on the plain side. (Flo never believed that Crohn's could be affected by food... but it is just so true.) When you wrote that you always come last, I cried. This is me. This is you. This is so many women our age. We do. We go. We think. LAST. This is why I began to run. I knew I needed to be by myself for if only a few minutes. To think. To plan. To be. To be me again. Find my thoughts and enjoy them. This is what led to my 57 in 52. If you don't plan it, you don't do it. We need to be whole in order to be whole... and I knew I had to teach this lesson to my own daughters... and your daughters need to know, too... that as women they need to be THEM... their own thoughts in moments of STILL. I think our exercise is a great lesson for them. Each time I go out to run, I think the bigger picture... and that makes me happy to do it. The end result? Everyone is proud. Everyone is that much happier. I have found moments of ME. You and the Sisterhood are great inspiration for me... I want you to know this. Way to go in 2010! xo!

  15. YOU are going to be outrunning YOUR grandkids!!

    I know you can do this! 2010 is going to rock!



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