Fear

Do you ever have days where some things just scare you? You know it's silly and not logical, but you just can't help it. I'm having one of those days.

We lost a friend the other night. He was fighting cancer, but appeared to be giving it a good fight. It wasn't the cancer that killed him. It was an anuerysm. It was quick and painless, but he's still gone. His wife has been a dear friend for as long as I can remember. She grew up with my husband and I've known her for 37 years.

It's odd the things that death makes go through your head. My fear today is being 54. My dad was 54 when he died. I'm probably the only person I know that can't wait to turn 55. I can't get my mind off the things that dad missed. He only got to see four of his grandkids, even though there were five more to come. There are the six great grandkids. He would just be eating them up. He loved being grandpa. Why did he have to miss it all? Why did my kids have to not get to know him? My oldest daughter was only two and a half when he died. I can't imagine how proud he would have been of my twins. They were the ninth set of twins on his side of the family. My youngest daughter has his sense of humor. He missed it all.

My fear is, what if it happens to me? What if I pick the short stick and have to leave my family early? I have two perfect and beautiful granddaughters. What if I miss all the rest of my grandkids and all the great grandkids? What if I miss my youngest daughter's wedding? What if, what if, what if??????

So, these have been my thoughts today. I know that dwelling on it does nothing good. It just seems since my birthday, I think of it more often than I did before and times like now just make it worse. I'm sure I'll be better after Monday's funeral and things calm down, but right now, I'm scared and I miss my dad.

New Blog

It's almost midnight and I have to be up for work at 5:30, so this will be quick. My youngest daughter decided she was missing all the fun of the blogging world, so she started her own blog tonight. Please stop by and say hi. It's http://showsomelovin.blogspot.com. Good night!

Random Thoughts

I just found out that my oldest daughter has a blog. Her blog is so much better than mine. Feel free to check her out at http://justanotherreasontoeatchocolate.blogspot.com/

I need to lose weight. I know this. I try hard. I do really well during the day till about 8:00 at night. Then all hell breaks loose. The ice cream calls, the chips call, the bacardi calls. You name it, it calls and my will power is crap. I tried to join The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, but being new to blogging, I can't figure out how to grab a button. I need inspiration. Any ideas?

The fire chief in our town died last week. Today was his funeral. Talk about impressive. Remember the scene in Backdraft with the firefighters funeral procession? It was just like that today. The casket was on the fire truck with six honor guards on top and the firefighters marching behind it. I can't even tell you how many fire trucks, police cars and other vehicles went behind them. Even the governor was there. I was one big puddle watching it. I was at work and it was lunchtime. The lunch moms couldn't get into the campus because of the volume of vehicles, so we aides covered the lunch duty. I work at a catholic school and the school and church are on the same campus. I was impressed with the respect of the fourth grade class that I was with. Almost all of them were watching with me. There were even tv helicpoters overhead. In case you hadn't guessed, our chief was a very respected and well known man.

I spent two hours last night looking for embarrassing pictures of my oldest sister. She is turning the big 60 on Thursday and her daughter wants to put something in the paper. I had two pictures in mind. Do you think I could find either of them? No such luck. I had to call my mother and she of course has the adorable ones. She sure dodged a bullet on that one.

So, was that random enough for you?

Pictures

I figured out how to do the slideshow, so I've added some pictures. They are mostly of my beautiful family with a few random outdoor shots.

If you haven't seen it yet, check out Ariel's birthday interview at http://www.ishouldbefoldinglaundry.com/. It's the best blog ever. It will melt your heart.

Have a great week!

Birthdays and Things

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. I took him out for a nice dinner and then met a friend of his for a drink to kill time while the kids worked on a surprise at the house. They hung tons of balloons with some of their favorite dad memories written on them. He was surprised and impressed. Our oldest granddaughter helped him blow out his candles and open his gifts. It was a fun night and I think he had a pretty good time.

Our son-in-laws fourth book of poetry is due out in a week or so and his first novel was just accepted by a publisher. We are very proud. You can check him out on Amazon or his website http://ww.freewebs.com/ryansteinbeck/.

If you remember last weekend, my daughter wanted to go to visit her boyfriend at Purdue. We put our foot down on travel when it was such rotten weather. This weekend we caved and she made it down there just fine. Now, I just have to worry about her getting home safely. Atleast I don't have to have to start thinking about that till tomorrow afternoon.

I have to be at school tomorrow. It's the annual open house and registration for next year. Although I don't relish the thought of working on Sunday, I do love to meet the new kids who come to sign up and visit. This year, I get to be in the classroom instead of doing the actual sign ups. That will be fun.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Girls Night Out

It's the third Wednesday of the month. Around my house, that means one thing---it's bunco night. I know I'm showing my age with that remark, but who cares. My friends are the best. We talk, we eat, we drink, we do secret pal gifts and we laugh. We talk about anything and everything and we laugh. Did I mention that we laugh? It is so much fun to be with the girls. You can just be yourself and what is better than that? I love my girls. We'll be doing this when we are old and grey.

History

Tomorrow is going to be such a historic day. I think I am the only person who is wishing for the max amounts of snow predicted for tonight and tomorrow. If we had it, I would be off school and I'd able to watch every minute of the events. As it stands now, I'm going to miss the actual swearing in ceremony. My lunch will start just after it's over. My husband says I can see it on a million repeats. Somehow, that's just not the same. Come on snow!!

Gratitude

I just stumbled on a blog by a mother who's little daughter was just declared cancer free. How awesome is that? Can you even imagine the elation that she must feel? What that blog did for me was to make me remember how blessed I am.

I have a wonderful, healthy family. I have a husband that I have loved for 37 years. He has had some surgeries over the years, but nothing that was ever life threatening. I have four beautiful daughters who have all been the picture of health with the exception of the usual childhood things. I have three sons-in-law who are my true real sons. I now have two fantastic granddaughters. I just can't imagine what I would do if anything were to happen to any of them.

I just want you all to know how grateful I am to have these people in my life. God has blessed me with them and for this, I can never thank Him enough. They are the lights of my life and I love them all with all my heart.

All's Well

With some help from my wonderful daughter and son-in-law, my daughter has forgone her trip to West Lafayette for this weekend. It was nice that they jumped in without my asking. She's not happy and she thinks we are all overprotective, but she's home and safe. Why do kids always think we are trying to ruin their good time?

The good news is that my sweet and funny granddaughter spent the night last night. She is 2 1/2 and a bundle of energy. We had a lot of fun. It was though, the first time she asked about her mommy, daddy and sister while she was here. It's the first time she has stayed since her sister was born. Maybe that had something to do with it. I'm watching her and her sister tonight while her parents go to a surprise birthday party.

When my daughter and son-in-law get home, I'm meeting my husband and many friends at the pub for a friend's birthday party. That is one nice thing about breast feeding. My daughter has to be home by 9:30 to feed the baby. That will leave me plenty of time to party with my friends.

I hope you all have a great weekend and keep warm!

The Joys of Parenting?

My youngest daughter's boyfriend left on Sunday to go down on campus at Purdue. She goes to school up here at Purdue North Central. She wants to go visit him this weekend. I think you all know what the weather is like now in Northwest Indiana. The temperature right now is 3 below zero. Who knows what the wind chill is. I just know it hurts to breath in when you go outside. They are saying more snow tonight. She would be traveling alone. My husband and I think this is a very bad idea. She says we are being overprotective and don't trust her. I don't trust the weather. I totally understand that she misses him and wants to see him. But really, he has only been gone five days. I don't object to her going to see him. Can't we just wait till the weather breaks a little? Isn't it my job as her mother to keep her safe, no matter how old she is? Am I wrong??????? Please tell me I'm not.

I Got My Wish

I got my wish to be off school. The problem is, I got it at 5:28 and 7:26 this morning. Is my school district crazy or what? Did they really think it was going to warm up in two hours? Most schools called the two hour delay last night, but not us. Why are they so weird about calling school? No one likes making up the days, but it sure is better than freezing students waiting at a bus stop. Enough of my ranting. The good news is that I now have a four day weekend. We were already off tomorrow for the end of semester. I think I'll clean house and bake this morning. This afternoon, I will curl up with a blanket and watch my new West Wing dvd's and drink the cocktail I never got to last night. If you live in Northwest Indiana, find a warm place to be and enjoy the day off (if you work for a school).

Here it comes

I just looked out my window and I can't see the house across the street. I think the winter storm warning was telling the truth this time. I'm one of the crazy people who loves the snow. Why else would you live in northwest Indiana? You have to enjoy all four seasons. What would really make my night would be if I got a call saying they just closed schools for tomorrow. I'll even take a late start. It's nice to know that the night before. They are saying that the wind chill in the morning is going to be 25 below zero. I hate to think of my three and four year old preschoolers going out in that to get to school. I'm going to go and make myself a cocktail (bacardi, of course) and wait for my call. Keep warm!

Let's clarify

I was just thinking that maybe my blog title could make people think that I am a raging alcoholic. I'm not. It's just my liquor of choice. My son-in-law actually was the one that thought I should have it in the title. My blog buddy, Beth shortened something I had come up with to get to this. Enough said!

Day One

I confess that I never, ever thought about blogging. I'm not even sure I ever really knew what blogging was. All that changed a few months ago. I was introduced to the world of blogs by one of the sweetest preschool moms ever. I read one of her posts and was never so touched. I spent the next few days devouring her posts and now I'm hooked. It may take some time to get used to this and I apologize if I'm boring, but I'll do my best.

Just a quick introduction of myself. I met my husband 37 years ago at a root beer stand when I was 16 years old. We've been together ever since. After 35 years of marriage, we have four beautiful daughters who range in age from 34 to 21. Three are married and one of them has given us two wonderful granddaughters, age 2 1/2 and 2 months. Our baby is a junior in college majoring in elementary education. I have worked at a catholic preschool for the last 16 years and love every minute of it. My husband is recently retired and he loves every minute of that.

That's it for now folks. I look forward to being a part of the blogging world.